You Missed Your Chance

//Before we start, these are two OC's that I created! They are representations of Math and Psychology! I also did a lot more, but those will come in time

Sean = Psychology
James = Math)


    Sean didn't want to do it anymore. He hated living forever, watching all these people he could save, die! He hated making friends with people and then watching them die! He hated living. He hated himself. 

    But, God, he loved James. Oh, James was perfect to him. He loved the unique features in his hair. How those numbers stayed in place. He wondered how they looked like in the morning, did they always stay in order? That's weird. Oh, what it would be to wake up with Math. Snuggling in his arms, with pure happiness. For once, if he could have James, he would finally be happy. Of course, it would take a while to get over the rest of the depression reasons. He just wanted to see James everyday, and kiss him and hug him, and wake up and go to bed with him. It was dream, that would never come true.

    Now, James was by his side, yelling for help when it was just them two. He had taken too many pills. Three 600 MG of Ibruprophen. His vision grew heavy, he started seeing black fade in. And he could hear the sweet symphony sound of James' voice. He smiled. "James..?" Was all he could make out before he blacked out

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    Here he was, in the hospital again. He could hear beeping and someone hiccuping, like they are, or have been, crying. He tried to open his eyes, but ended up closing one because of how bright the outside was, and the blinds were open. 

    From what he could see, he saw the royal blue hair of Science and then.. James? Well, of course James was there, but he was crying while Science held him. He couldn't see James' face because his hair was falling in the way. James' head was resting on Science's shoulder. Science had his arms wrapped around James, pulling him in close.

    "I fucking love him, and," James stuttered out, breathing quickly a few times, "I hate seeing him like this." Science nodded. He took one arm away and pet James' hair. "I know, I do too. He's like my little brother, you know." They sat there for a few more seconds, and Sean closed his eyes. He was tired. And he fell asleep.

    Now, he was awake again. Science was gone, or nowhere to be seen, and James was sitting beside his bed. James was resting his forehead against his knuckles, as his hands were threaded together. He sighed, looking up. Sean closed his eyes again, thinking why James, of all people, would stay for him.

    Ugh, he felt empty. He had gotten his stomach pumped. Ew. He shrugged it off mentally, and opened his eyes again. This time, James was looking at him. He stared back at James. No words were said. He smiled at James, making James glare slightly.
"What the fuck, is wrong with you?" Sean's smile fell. "What?" He tilted his head. Pure confusion as his voice pitched a bit. James shook his head, sitting up quickly. "I said, what the fuck is wrong with you," he repeated. Oh no, and here came the lecture.

    "You don't know how much me and Science worry over you. History! LA is even worried!" He panted lightly, tired from crying. "We love you! I love you!" He said, feeling tears run up again. Damn, he was never this emotional! "I hate seeing you do this to yourself! You just need to accept the fact that you're not going to die!"

    Sean felt some sort of anger boil up inside him. He didn't know why he felt this way. He just felt his stomach twist into something other than hunger, sickness, or from being nervous. "I want to die, James! I hate myself so fucking much! I can't help the way I feel. The voices don't fucking help either! They only tell me worse things! I'm sorry, I want to die okay!" He was sitting up against his pillows now.

    James growled. No, that was even a good comeback or excuse, whatever the fuck you call it. "Well, even if you were able to die! It's not like I wouldn't fucking let you! I love you too much to let that happened. I would never trust you alone, the only reason why you're allowed to live alone now, is because you're going to live forever! I would never forgive myself if you died!"

    Now, James could feel the tears falling out of his eyes. He wiped them away, not letting anymore pass by. They both thought for a moment before James spoke before Sean could even think of something. "But, I'm done chasing you. I'm tired trying to save you. This is, what, the fifteenth time now! I'm fucking done!" James yelled, turning and walking out of the room.



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    It's been about a week until the hospital incident. The only thing that has been on his was James. So, he loved him? At least that's what it sounded like. He hasn't seen James yet, nor History or LA. Only Science, and that was to get signed out of the hospital. He pulled out his phone. James never answered his calls now. He really was just done with him. He had meant it.

    He clicked on History's contact, letting it ring. "Hey! Sean! How's it going?" History didn't sound like normal. Sean could tell he was forcing his happiness. He sighed. "Have you heard from James? I know he's pissed off at me, but I really just want to apologize."
There was a small noise in the background of the other side. "U-Um, he's not taking any messages right now. He's already said that he doesn't want to talk to you. He thinks it's best to just separate. Out of sight, out of mind~! Haha." He tried to lift the mood, but there was nothing happy about this. "I'm sorry, Sean. Um, there's nothing else, I'm so sorry." Sean sighed. Tears rushed to his eyes. He sniffed and nodded. "Yeah, yeah. I understand." They said their goodbyes and hung up.

    Sean thought for a moment before really letting everything out. There was no point in trying to hold it together. Cries and sobs filled his house, just like other days. But today was more painful. James would never see or speak to him again. He could tell. This was too much for James to worry about. James was being smart to stay away. Sean was being such a moron, not realizing that others do love him. Over five minutes, he guessed is when he stopped crying. Even after, he was still too depressed to get words out. Too sniffly and wheezy. 

James was gone. 
They will never see each other again.
He missed his chance.
He missed his chance to be happy.


A/N:
Thanks to LyricallyWritten for her one shot. I thought of her's towards the end!